Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

30
Aug

Mid life …”Oh pants, I’m approaching my 30′s” crisis

Ok it’s just occurred to me that I am now getting older. All the signs are already creeping in. I now make strained noises when I get up or sit down. To be honest just moving in general seems to be a bit of an issue. Probably more laziness on my point but lets not stress on the minor details.

It’s also occurred to me as my 30′s are approaching that I have yet to make my millions as I had originally planned when I was in school and that is concerning my slightly. Whilst I’m sure that I will eventually win the lottery with the £2 that I spend on Euromillions each, the money would actually come in handy now. So I’ve decided to set up my own online enterprise! Huzzah! Ingenious huh! ‘”So what is this amazing endeavour!’ I hear you cry. Err.. well I’m not 100% sure yet. All I know is that I will be selling something online (not myself thankfully lol) and the hoards of Internet crowds will go wild and I will be right on schedule to retire in Maldives as originally planned. Moo ha ha ha.

Site is being worked on already and I have a logo so I’m already like 0.03 ready. So get ready for the 99.07 of extra awesome that will soon be coming your way.

 

And in other news…. Pikachu cat!!

Popularity: 15%

15
Feb

yeahhhh!

I can’t seriously be the only person that hates Argos can I?

It has to be one of the most depressing place on the planet closely followed by the Post Office. Actually I think the Post office ranks slightly higher but then this isn’t a competition…

Anywho… I don’t understand why Argos thought it would be a good idea to re-invent the wheel when it comes to shopping. Apparently people don’t want to select items from a shelf and purchase them anymore. Instead they want to sift through a 1000 page catalogue, then wait in line for the ‘when is my item going to come down the shoot’ lottery.

In other new… Horatio from CSI Miami has to be one of the coolest dudes ever. He always knows what to say. I could seriously write a cartoon based on his character alone.

Anybody…. that talks…as slow…as… he does.. to say…just the….simplest…of…things… has to be cool lol

Popularity: 17%

14
Jan

I’m gonna kick some ass with my own pipe wrench!

Ok, so it’s been a while since I’ve last updated or posted a blog entry to this site. I do normally tend to only post something on here when I find or have something funny to say or share.

Christmas has come and gone, and boy am I feeling it. I had a fiver to my name until I got paid today.

I’m already running out of things to put here now ugh…. in other news…

Popularity: 100%

19
Jul

Look at that baby, then back at me…..that is NOT my baby!

I’m loving the new Old Spice ads at the moment. Yeah Old Spice still doesn’t smell very good and in my eyes it’s still associated with cheesy old men but hey I may still be tempted to buy one if Isaiah Mustafa came with it ;) (he’s the hot guy from the advert, incase you weren’t sure).

Strangely enough I haven’t seen the advert run too many times on tv over here in the UK but on the net it’s running like wildfire, which is how I came to find this little spoof video for these new ads (also featuring Isaiah Mustafa – yum).

Anywho…here’s the vid. Enjoy

Popularity: 13%

29
Jun

Missy the missing cat – An epic production!

OK, It’s not often that I get sent a forwarded email that is really funny, but this actually had me crying today. It’s basically an email transcript. As I designer I can relate to some of the odd requests that client sometimes make but the designer responses in this instance are just tooo classic XD I’m not sure who originally circulated this but I’m posting it up here anyways. You can read it below. Oh… and in other news I believe I turned 26 today. Boooo! lol

From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.


From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today. 
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.



From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small? 
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David. 

From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks. 
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat. 
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David. 

From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

cid:image001.jpg@01CB1383.ECC10F70

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan. 
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today. 
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.

cid:image002.jpg@01CB1383.ECC10F70

From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small? 
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David. 

From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks. 
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

cid:image003.jpg@01CB1383.ECC10F70
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

cid:image004.jpg@01CB1383.ECC10F70
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

cid:image005.jpg@01CB1383.ECC10F70
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat. 
From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David. 

From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

cid:image006.jpg@01CB1383.ECC10F70
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

cid:image007.jpg@01CB1383.ECC10F70
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it. 

From:
David Thorne
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To:
Shannon Walkley
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

cid:image008.jpg@01CB1383.ECC10F70
From:
Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

Popularity: 58%